The "Immigrant Struggle"

"The report card, printed on flimsy dot-matrix toilet paper, is handed out in morning homeroom, our eyes instantly skirting past the individual grades to the bottom number, the average. I am crying before I see the four digits. 82.33. Essentially, a B. Harvard, Yale, Princeton? Lehigh, Lafayette, maybe Bucknell. What does it mean for an immigrant child of the top rank to go to Bucknell University? It means I have failed my parents. I have failed myself. I have failed my future. We may as well have never come here." (Shteyngart 219) It was after reading this quote when I felt a genuine connection to Gary Shteyngart as a person; I knew exactly where he was coming from. Shteyngart being the child of immigrant parents and being an immigrant himself, has faced the constant pressure of making his parents proud as it would be absolutely unimaginable to end up a failure. I know this struggle all too well. We as children of immigrants are faced with a constant battle of attempting to prove our worth in the eyes of our parents, but never seeming to be good enough. It is the pressure of first generation children of immigrant parents to prove that you are indeed worthy of your parent's sacrifices. As Shteyngart says "we may as well have never came here," this sounds like an exaggeration, questioning his family's move to America all because he received an 82 average? The children of immigrant parents can vouch that his reaction is completely justified. That 82 average symbolizes all his failures, representing not only his own shortcomings, but the disgracing of his parents, and the waste of a trip to "the land of opportunities." His parents came to America to provide a better life for him, and all that they have sacrificed for him should have been given back in hard work and success. In the eyes of immigrant parents excelling in your studies and achieving high 90's in every class should come as second nature; it would say something about how they raised you. Anything below a 95 would condemn you as a failure and a disgrace. As soon as I read the quote concerning Shteyngart's average it was as if a light went off in my head; I felt an immediate connection. I completely understand the struggle of being afraid to bring home a test or a report card because I knew that it would be considered failing in my mother's eyes; no matter how high of a grade I would get it would never be good enough. In the public school system a 65 is considered failing, in an immigrant household, that grade gets boosted to a 95. My mother always told me "99? What happened to the other 1 point? Why not 100?" You had to be perfect. Immigrant parent's expectations of perfection can be extremely daunting on a young soul and being seen as a failure in the eyes of your parents and disgracing their struggles can be psychologically impairing. This is most likely the reason for Shteyngart's substance abuse problems in his adolescence and adult life; that daunting voice in the back of your head telling you you are nothing more than a disappointment and you have failed in making your parents proud is enough to make you go crazy. I related to Shteyngart's struggles as I have always carried the weight on my shoulders of not disgracing my mother's sacrifices.